The world isn’t always interesting. Sometimes I troll the internet for hours, eavesdrop on an unknown number of conversations, and watch the news until they start recycling the stories and nothing will catch my attention. I guess it’s telling about where my interests lie that I can’t scare up some good stories to relay on to you all. Believe me I searched.
Hard news? Nah. The Mining Incident in West Virginia is at the forefront of American news but that requires a working knowledge of…something…to properly comment on. Unions, safety in the workplace, even religious views are all applicable knowledge areas but alas, I haven’t the faintest idea what I would talk about. There are also the San Diego earthquakes, but having never been to San Diego or experienced an earthquake, I feel my commentary would be inadequate.
In World News, former pop-sensation Shakira recently visited Haitian camps to promote her charitable organization (coughHERSELFcough). But who really wants another snarky diatribe against celebrity photo-ops in underdeveloped nations? On a completely different note, the death of the Polish president is, indeed, tragic and news that I was personally interested in following but not column worthy. I did notice that some of the press coverage mentioned that the now deceased President’s twin brother is the former Prime Minister of Poland. I feel like I should have known that before, but I don’t feel I can comment on it for a solid 800 words.
When real news fails to produce fascinating tidbits, I turn to Perez Hilton. A decent scandal is good for half a dozen blog posts on Perez, and I went back about twelve pages before I realized anything earlier has already been picked up by various news outlets and therefore is no longer good gossip fodder. The only things they really covered before hand is plastic surgery and Tiger Woods. Bored. Oh, and apparently Rowan Atkinson is desperate for work. There’s going to be a Johnny English 2. Normally, I’m a firm believer in “why not”, but really?
Switching to campus news again I’ve hit a dead end. We’re in tap club season but it’s after Spring Step Singing so most of the drama-rama has passed. The lesbian news is rife but don’t ask, don’t tell right? It’s probably bad form, anyway. As an active gossip monger, I could take this opportunity to stretch the truth and create scandal from nothing which would be fun. I imagine there would be repercussions or something though…not as much fun. The graduation and senior week problems are solved or not yet issued.
There’s not even fluffy news like a new youtube or another internet sensation floating around. Fads seem to last for even shorter periods of time than in the past because of the immediate nature of the news NOW. So what’s a girl to write about? I dunno, but there’s sure to be some bullshit happening somewhere.
For a column about nothing, you've got something. I like it, but kick up the sarcasm and you'll get funnier.
ReplyDeleteHm, I'm not so sure it worked for me. There definitely needs to be more -- maybe sarcasm, as Amanda suggested, but I feel like I need more content, too. You mention a lot of things, but don't really comment on them very much, which I know is part of your column (nothing happening), but you still need to give us some kind of angle. It's a good idea, though.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Anti-column. I loved it. But I would agree with Amanda and Janika... it needs... something. Like Janika's Tai Kitchen sauce. Hmm, I'll try to come up with some better commentary tomorrow for class. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm with the previous three, it needs something. If it's going to be an "anti-column" (nice phrase, Melissa), then I think you have to do a better job telling the story of why you don't feel compelled or qualified to write about any of these legit news items/tragedies. Try to be more specific when describing this ennui you're feeling. Is it existential, just too much terrible stuff going on in the world to muster care for any of it? Is it indifference because you can't relate to West Virginia coal miners? Do you have "Haiti malaise" due to the great exposure the tragedy received early on? Physician, diagnose thyself.
ReplyDeleteOh, and so why, then, does Perez Hilton become the default source of news for you? THAT's ripe for commentary!
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